Up for auction: the Canyon Aeroad CF SLX SRAM Red—aka the ‘wind whisperer,’ ‘hill crusher,’ and ‘neighbor-envier’ all in one sleek, aerodynamic package. This bike is so fast, it’ll make you feel like you missed your calling as a pro cyclist. Every part of this bike is designed to scream speed; even standing still, it looks like it’s late for a race.

Equipped with SRAM Red components, this beast shifts so smoothly, you’d think it was telepathic. Need to make a quick getaway from a coffee shop when you realize you’ve forgotten your wallet? No problem! The lightweight carbon frame practically propels you forward just by thinking about pedaling. Plus, those sleek, aerodynamic lines will make you feel like you’re slicing through the air… or maybe through space-time itself.

Be prepared for people to stare. Seriously, when you pull up to a stoplight, heads will turn, and someone will probably try to take a selfie with your new bike. No kidding—this thing’s a celebrity. Forget about the Tour de France; this bike’s real challenge is staying humble.

Bid now, because bikes this fast usually leave you behind!